I understand that it's my civic duty. I am absolutely going to give it my best. My most open minded attention and as unbiased an opinion that I can muster. But the projected length of this trial is 4 weeks. 9:00 AM to 1:30 PM for four weeks. I get that these people are upset, but work it out. C'mon, I've got better things to do, like, figure out how to earn a living.
I got my umpteenth rejection letter for one of my scripts today. Nice to be acknowledged. It was a joke script that I sent to an ultra indie producer about a radioactive turkey that kills people at a Thanksgiving weekend. It was in the spirit of Silent Night, Deadly Night. Epic cheezy slasher titty flicks from the '80's. I think that there were about six of them. A lot of fun if you like that sort of crap. Ah well, maybe someday The Gobbling will see light again.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
What does "excuse me" actually mean?
The phrase "excuse me" used to be a polite way of saying: Please move out of my way. I am trying to get to the other side, past, away from or around you. Thank you in advance for your cooperation in permitting me to move past you.
Now, or at least to all the people in front of, moving slowly or generally in the way of me today, "excuse me" seems to mean turn around, look at me with a vapid stare suggesting that you are devoid of any thought, stand in the way without moving or any awareness that moving out of the doorway or small hallway or any of the other places that I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET THROUGH ON MY WAY BACK FROM LUNCH TO REPORT BACK TO JURY DUTY!!!!!!!
Now, or at least to all the people in front of, moving slowly or generally in the way of me today, "excuse me" seems to mean turn around, look at me with a vapid stare suggesting that you are devoid of any thought, stand in the way without moving or any awareness that moving out of the doorway or small hallway or any of the other places that I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET THROUGH ON MY WAY BACK FROM LUNCH TO REPORT BACK TO JURY DUTY!!!!!!!
Monday, March 2, 2009
Film promotion
The hard reality of the industry is this. The best project does not necessarily win the most acclaim. The best promoter may win the most acclaim. The influx of new projects into the world has made it necessary for the filmmaker to become ever more clever in promoting their projects. A few years ago at SXSW*, I saw a guy in a superhero outfit talk his way into a party and hand out treatments for the script that he had written. Talk about commitment (or thinking about it, maybe he dressed like that all the time).
Either way, films like the Blair Witch Project worked because everyone was told that they needed to see it before they found out how average it was (sorry guys). With bigger projects, the first thing that studio's do is attach talent and work projections based on factoids like: Jason Statham in a story with fast cars and shit blowing up yet miraculously he wins in the end (read: sequel) is worth X at the box office.
Small independent films are an act of love. Short films are an act of love as well. There is not much to do with a short film other than upload it to YouTube and submit it to festivals. Either way you need to promote it yourself. You will be lucky if it gets into the festival.
Success in this enterprise is evasive. It takes a combination of intelligence, stamina and fortune. Brian and Laurence Avenet-Bradley are two of the most talented film makers I have ever met. If you have the chance to see any of their films Freez'er, Ghost of the Needle, Dark Remains are the ones that I have seen are fantastic. Dark Remains is one of the scariest ghost stories that I have ever seen and a beautifully crafted film.
*SXSW = South By South West Film Festival
Either way, films like the Blair Witch Project worked because everyone was told that they needed to see it before they found out how average it was (sorry guys). With bigger projects, the first thing that studio's do is attach talent and work projections based on factoids like: Jason Statham in a story with fast cars and shit blowing up yet miraculously he wins in the end (read: sequel) is worth X at the box office.
Small independent films are an act of love. Short films are an act of love as well. There is not much to do with a short film other than upload it to YouTube and submit it to festivals. Either way you need to promote it yourself. You will be lucky if it gets into the festival.
Success in this enterprise is evasive. It takes a combination of intelligence, stamina and fortune. Brian and Laurence Avenet-Bradley are two of the most talented film makers I have ever met. If you have the chance to see any of their films Freez'er, Ghost of the Needle, Dark Remains are the ones that I have seen are fantastic. Dark Remains is one of the scariest ghost stories that I have ever seen and a beautifully crafted film.
*SXSW = South By South West Film Festival
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The Bloodshed
So about two years ago, Alan Rowe Kelly calls me and says: I want to make a trilogy like Creepshow. It'll be me and two other horror directors. I said: Cool, have a great time. You should have them thematically connected in some vague way. He said: Great idea, what are you talking about? I said like the Brothers Grim fairy tales or 10001 Nights. Each story is independent yet lends to a greater theme. He said: Brilliant and hung up. He called back: How much can you put into the project? I said: %$^**. I hate it when I talk to Alan sometimes. His films are always a lot of fun make decent money and he's been a friend for years. I had said previously that if he can get his next projec going (I forget the title, but the budget was 300K) I would put up the first 10K and a letter offering DVD distribution. He said: Instead of that, give me the 10 grand for the short and we'll have a movie in six months. I thought and than said: WTF...? Sure, Alan's been a friend.
I was going to be on set as EP for the Blood Shed, but the shoot date got pushed by two weeks and I was going to Poland to shoot a documentary. I got back and called Alan. Alan said: Uhhhhhh...... we spent all the money, but didn't shoot a short. I said: What?!? You M....F.... I trusted you. What the F...in bleep C.....Sucker, dirt bag piece of S.... Alan interupted, sheepishly, which is the only time, I've heard him not over the top: We shot a feature instead.
I thought: OK, kinda different. I saw the initial cut a few months later. In a hotel room in New York with the guy that made up all the weird crazy violent sick stuff that went into the movie. A movie that can best be described as Pink Flamingo's meets the Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Or in my opinion the Citizen Kane of in-bred, hill billy, cannibal films. And yes, that's Alan playing Beeftina.
I was going to be on set as EP for the Blood Shed, but the shoot date got pushed by two weeks and I was going to Poland to shoot a documentary. I got back and called Alan. Alan said: Uhhhhhh...... we spent all the money, but didn't shoot a short. I said: What?!? You M....F.... I trusted you. What the F...in bleep C.....Sucker, dirt bag piece of S.... Alan interupted, sheepishly, which is the only time, I've heard him not over the top: We shot a feature instead.
I thought: OK, kinda different. I saw the initial cut a few months later. In a hotel room in New York with the guy that made up all the weird crazy violent sick stuff that went into the movie. A movie that can best be described as Pink Flamingo's meets the Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Or in my opinion the Citizen Kane of in-bred, hill billy, cannibal films. And yes, that's Alan playing Beeftina.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
NYE 12/31/08
Pretty wild one this year. 2008 I was invited to a party by the woman that I have been seeing for three weeks. She got drunk. Ignored me and ended up making out with some guy in the bathroom and than told me that he accosted her. I threw him on the ground. Half the party tackled me. She said that she didn't remember freak dancing with him for an hour. I felt like an asshole for not leaving sooner. Nice.
It's 8:30 AM January 2, 2009. Thank god 2008 is over. It was a grand year of transition and flux. Broke up with my long term girlfriend in February. She found someone new about two weeks later. I got in the best shape I have been in since High School weight 205 body fat 12%. Closed a company started a blog, two new projects. Blah Blah Blah....
This post is about recounting the last 8 NYE's. I got about eleven hours of sleep last night. But had been up for about 54 of the previous 60 hours.
2000 I had just broken up with the woman that I had been seeing for three years. I was just about to hit 30 and I was at a party in the hills of LA. My friends Chris and Nils introduced me to Captain Morgans rum and I gulped down about a bottle. Goes down like punch. Than I saw a woman that could have been Cameron Diaz body double. Beautiful. I don't remember much of the converstaion, but my friends were smiling and giving me the thumbs up when "Cameron" and I wnet outside. My moment of clarity kind of reminds me of The Shining when Nicholson realizes he's kissing a dead woman. I was making out with a retired Porn Star. There was a slight resemblance to Cameron Diaz if Ms. Diaz had been dead and buried for six months and someone brpought her emaciated corps to a party. Nice. My friends are bastards. You don't do that.
2001 I just moved to SF. I took one of those fat test things at the gym. 245 lbs. 35% body fat. I looked bad. But back in California, so happy. NYE with my cousin. Nothing interesting
2002 Brought friends Ty and Catherine to a party with their friends the 35 year old guy and his 19 year old fiancee with the boob job. The 19 year old and the guy did it in the hot tub. Technically right next to the hot tub. It was OK though the host took pictures. You can probably find them on the internet. At five to midnight the woman I was talking to said she needed to go find her husband. I thought: she really could have mentioned that half an hour ago. I wondered what my ex was from 3 years earlier was doing. Still infatuated. Like the NYE scene in Forrest Gump.
2003 Buddy Chris from NYE 2000 had just broken it off with his woman. We went skiing in Lake Tahoe. Decided to come back home for NYE. Went to a party. As soon as we walked in Elisa looked at Chris and asked: Who's that? "Ian's friend, he doesn't know anyone here." Elisa leaped the couch, tumbled past the finger foods, clothes lined one girl, grabbed the chandelir Indianna Jones style swung over to Chris and dragged him to the dance floor. Or something to slightly, and only slightly, less dramatic effect. Ty and I decided to leave.
Someone asked: aren't you going to say goodbye to your friend?
No.
Does he know your leaving?
No.
How's he going to get back to your house?
Idunno.
Aren't you worried about him?
No.
They got engaged on the plane up to SF from San Diego on NYE 2004.
2004 weight 230. body fat 24% looking better. I was inviteed to a party bus with about two dozen of my new friends. It was a blast. Several of them only remember what happened becuase of the pictures. The one girl grabbed me by the lapel and yelled: You're like me. We got core strength. Than she hit me in the belly and jumped on my buddies back and rode him around the car. I started taling to a friend of Chris and Elisa. I don't remember his name. His wife was standing with her back to us. She reached back to grab her husbands....private area. But instead grabbed and held mine. She actually seemed to realize that it wasn't her regular one after about 30 seconds. She "eeeked" and ran off. I commented that he was a lucky man. We laughed it off.
2005 I don't remeber. Right now. Actually, '03 and 04may have been '04 and '05. Anyway...
2006 I had ten people over for the pre NYE party dinner. Much drinking and hijinx ensue. At about 1230 my very beautiful and drunk date and another woman at the party dragged me into the bedroom and they started making out. I'm not usually into that, but that was hot. My date realized that she was kissing a woman and not me and left. She called a few minutes later: Hi, it's your friend the lesbian. I just got home. I'm going to pack and move away. It was a lovely party."
2007 My girlfriend that I had been seeing for about 10 months and I went to dinner. Drank a bottle of wine and passed out at 1130. Yippeee
2008 That really was not just the worst New Years I've ever had. But probably one of the most insulting nights I've ever had.
Ah well, forward is good. 2009 abounds with promise and hope. Barrak Obama is going to become President in about three weeks and I am hopeful that world will regain some sense of sanity. Or at least that my dating life will ...WTF, right?
It's 8:30 AM January 2, 2009. Thank god 2008 is over. It was a grand year of transition and flux. Broke up with my long term girlfriend in February. She found someone new about two weeks later. I got in the best shape I have been in since High School weight 205 body fat 12%. Closed a company started a blog, two new projects. Blah Blah Blah....
This post is about recounting the last 8 NYE's. I got about eleven hours of sleep last night. But had been up for about 54 of the previous 60 hours.
2000 I had just broken up with the woman that I had been seeing for three years. I was just about to hit 30 and I was at a party in the hills of LA. My friends Chris and Nils introduced me to Captain Morgans rum and I gulped down about a bottle. Goes down like punch. Than I saw a woman that could have been Cameron Diaz body double. Beautiful. I don't remember much of the converstaion, but my friends were smiling and giving me the thumbs up when "Cameron" and I wnet outside. My moment of clarity kind of reminds me of The Shining when Nicholson realizes he's kissing a dead woman. I was making out with a retired Porn Star. There was a slight resemblance to Cameron Diaz if Ms. Diaz had been dead and buried for six months and someone brpought her emaciated corps to a party. Nice. My friends are bastards. You don't do that.
2001 I just moved to SF. I took one of those fat test things at the gym. 245 lbs. 35% body fat. I looked bad. But back in California, so happy. NYE with my cousin. Nothing interesting
2002 Brought friends Ty and Catherine to a party with their friends the 35 year old guy and his 19 year old fiancee with the boob job. The 19 year old and the guy did it in the hot tub. Technically right next to the hot tub. It was OK though the host took pictures. You can probably find them on the internet. At five to midnight the woman I was talking to said she needed to go find her husband. I thought: she really could have mentioned that half an hour ago. I wondered what my ex was from 3 years earlier was doing. Still infatuated. Like the NYE scene in Forrest Gump.
2003 Buddy Chris from NYE 2000 had just broken it off with his woman. We went skiing in Lake Tahoe. Decided to come back home for NYE. Went to a party. As soon as we walked in Elisa looked at Chris and asked: Who's that? "Ian's friend, he doesn't know anyone here." Elisa leaped the couch, tumbled past the finger foods, clothes lined one girl, grabbed the chandelir Indianna Jones style swung over to Chris and dragged him to the dance floor. Or something to slightly, and only slightly, less dramatic effect. Ty and I decided to leave.
Someone asked: aren't you going to say goodbye to your friend?
No.
Does he know your leaving?
No.
How's he going to get back to your house?
Idunno.
Aren't you worried about him?
No.
They got engaged on the plane up to SF from San Diego on NYE 2004.
2004 weight 230. body fat 24% looking better. I was inviteed to a party bus with about two dozen of my new friends. It was a blast. Several of them only remember what happened becuase of the pictures. The one girl grabbed me by the lapel and yelled: You're like me. We got core strength. Than she hit me in the belly and jumped on my buddies back and rode him around the car. I started taling to a friend of Chris and Elisa. I don't remember his name. His wife was standing with her back to us. She reached back to grab her husbands....private area. But instead grabbed and held mine. She actually seemed to realize that it wasn't her regular one after about 30 seconds. She "eeeked" and ran off. I commented that he was a lucky man. We laughed it off.
2005 I don't remeber. Right now. Actually, '03 and 04may have been '04 and '05. Anyway...
2006 I had ten people over for the pre NYE party dinner. Much drinking and hijinx ensue. At about 1230 my very beautiful and drunk date and another woman at the party dragged me into the bedroom and they started making out. I'm not usually into that, but that was hot. My date realized that she was kissing a woman and not me and left. She called a few minutes later: Hi, it's your friend the lesbian. I just got home. I'm going to pack and move away. It was a lovely party."
2007 My girlfriend that I had been seeing for about 10 months and I went to dinner. Drank a bottle of wine and passed out at 1130. Yippeee
2008 That really was not just the worst New Years I've ever had. But probably one of the most insulting nights I've ever had.
Ah well, forward is good. 2009 abounds with promise and hope. Barrak Obama is going to become President in about three weeks and I am hopeful that world will regain some sense of sanity. Or at least that my dating life will ...WTF, right?
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Indie Roar
It looks like I am actually going to build this festival. I wonder how it will play out. Right now, I need to figure out what I want to offer in the actual website. I think that I will have a main page with entrants getting there own page which will have a bunch of features on it including their film available to view. It's an interesting challenge to design something like this. I used to work with architects to design real estate. This is pretty different. I hope that I can figure out how to make my way of organizing work with the programmers.
The thing that I think is cool about this idea is that it helps resolve several of the main problems of Short Films. First, now that the short is complete, what can you do with it? Second and the main problem being no one ever gets to see them. With this site, artists will, hopefully, be able to have their film available at a high resolution for public consumption. I think also that this will be a good forum for new filmmakers to meet each other. Also, if they read my blog possibly learn from my bitter experience as I pontificate into the great void that is the INTERweb....
Or this is a complete waste of time and no one will care or enter. I think that I will offer $2500 to the first prize winners in three different categories; drama, horror and comedy. If I can, I will get some sponsors to offer me some additional prizes for 1st and 2nd prize winners as well. I really want B & H Photo to give me some gift certificates for the winners. If they don't, I'll probably just buy them and hand them out.
The thing that I think is cool about this idea is that it helps resolve several of the main problems of Short Films. First, now that the short is complete, what can you do with it? Second and the main problem being no one ever gets to see them. With this site, artists will, hopefully, be able to have their film available at a high resolution for public consumption. I think also that this will be a good forum for new filmmakers to meet each other. Also, if they read my blog possibly learn from my bitter experience as I pontificate into the great void that is the INTERweb....
Or this is a complete waste of time and no one will care or enter. I think that I will offer $2500 to the first prize winners in three different categories; drama, horror and comedy. If I can, I will get some sponsors to offer me some additional prizes for 1st and 2nd prize winners as well. I really want B & H Photo to give me some gift certificates for the winners. If they don't, I'll probably just buy them and hand them out.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Jazz at Pearls
I haven't done one of these posts for a while. There are a few things that I have wanted to write about; so there will be at least three or four in the next few days.
Something special happened this weekend. I came back from a trip to New York early to attend the last night of Jazz at Pearls. Jazz at Pearls is a San Francisco landmark that has the best ambiance / vibe of just about anywhere in the city. It's down the block from the Condor club, which I think is the first all nude strip club in the country. Around the corner is the Hungry I, which was a huge beatnik hangout long ago. Also near Vesuvio's (I think) and City Lights books where all the beat poets hung out in the '60's. Basically, it's a helluva neighborhood. The club itself is small and kind of dark. The stage area is pretty small. It accommodates a Piano, stand up base and drum set. The stage is next to the window. When sitting in the audience you can see into the AliBaba smoke shop across the street. Part of the fun is watching the pedestrians walk by, stop and enjoy the music for a minute before moving on. The music is usually great and sometimes special. I was pretty sad that this fantastic place was closing.
So, I got home from New York and home from the airport by about 6:30, walked/ran to the store in a mad dash, got back and cooked steaks and spinach with mushrooms (the boring kind) for me and my friend and made it to the club by 7:50. Six of my friends were there waiting for us. We got drinks and seated about a minute before Kim Nalley began. She began the night by telling us the Pearls as of yesterday was NOT closing and that she was exhausted. Apparently, some people that loved the place bought into it at the last minute to keep it open. Awesome! She managed to get a month worth of acts lined up in the previous 48 hours and kept all of the staff.
....and she sang her usual absolutely amazing show. She did some Ella Fitzgerald and a bunch of songs that I'd never heard before. This whacko at the end of our table kept singing along. When I asked her to be quiet she flipped me off. Nice. Later, someone else asked her to stop talking and she said, quite loudly, come to think of it: but, I was whispering! A few people around us asked her to be quiet at that point. I didn't care. My favorite Jazz club was staying open and that means hearing more great acts in a small venue with no reservations.
Something special happened this weekend. I came back from a trip to New York early to attend the last night of Jazz at Pearls. Jazz at Pearls is a San Francisco landmark that has the best ambiance / vibe of just about anywhere in the city. It's down the block from the Condor club, which I think is the first all nude strip club in the country. Around the corner is the Hungry I, which was a huge beatnik hangout long ago. Also near Vesuvio's (I think) and City Lights books where all the beat poets hung out in the '60's. Basically, it's a helluva neighborhood. The club itself is small and kind of dark. The stage area is pretty small. It accommodates a Piano, stand up base and drum set. The stage is next to the window. When sitting in the audience you can see into the AliBaba smoke shop across the street. Part of the fun is watching the pedestrians walk by, stop and enjoy the music for a minute before moving on. The music is usually great and sometimes special. I was pretty sad that this fantastic place was closing.
So, I got home from New York and home from the airport by about 6:30, walked/ran to the store in a mad dash, got back and cooked steaks and spinach with mushrooms (the boring kind) for me and my friend and made it to the club by 7:50. Six of my friends were there waiting for us. We got drinks and seated about a minute before Kim Nalley began. She began the night by telling us the Pearls as of yesterday was NOT closing and that she was exhausted. Apparently, some people that loved the place bought into it at the last minute to keep it open. Awesome! She managed to get a month worth of acts lined up in the previous 48 hours and kept all of the staff.
....and she sang her usual absolutely amazing show. She did some Ella Fitzgerald and a bunch of songs that I'd never heard before. This whacko at the end of our table kept singing along. When I asked her to be quiet she flipped me off. Nice. Later, someone else asked her to stop talking and she said, quite loudly, come to think of it: but, I was whispering! A few people around us asked her to be quiet at that point. I didn't care. My favorite Jazz club was staying open and that means hearing more great acts in a small venue with no reservations.
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