One more Indie Roar

Jury Duty ..... jeez

2009-04-29T19:58:00.001-07:00

I understand that it's my civic duty. I am absolutely going to give it my best. My most open minded attention and as unbiased an opinion that I can muster. But the projected length of this trial is 4 weeks. 9:00 AM to 1:30 PM for four weeks. I get that these people are upset, but work it out. C'mon, I've got better things to do, like, figure out how to earn a living.

I got my umpteenth rejection letter for one of my scripts today. Nice to be acknowledged. It was a joke script that I sent to an ultra indie producer about a radioactive turkey that kills people at a Thanksgiving weekend. It was in the spirit of Silent Night, Deadly Night. Epic cheezy slasher titty flicks from the '80's. I think that there were about six of them. A lot of fun if you like that sort of crap. Ah well, maybe someday The Gobbling will see light again.

What does "excuse me" actually mean?

2009-03-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

The phrase "excuse me" used to be a polite way of saying: Please move out of my way. I am trying to get to the other side, past, away from or around you. Thank you in advance for your cooperation in permitting me to move past you.

Now, or at least to all the people in front of, moving slowly or generally in the way of me today, "excuse me" seems to mean turn around, look at me with a vapid stare suggesting that you are devoid of any thought, stand in the way without moving or any awareness that moving out of the doorway or small hallway or any of the other places that I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET THROUGH ON MY WAY BACK FROM LUNCH TO REPORT BACK TO JURY DUTY!!!!!!!

Film promotion

2009-03-02T13:58:00.000-08:00

The hard reality of the industry is this. The best project does not necessarily win the most acclaim. The best promoter may win the most acclaim. The influx of new projects into the world has made it necessary for the filmmaker to become ever more clever in promoting their projects. A few years ago at SXSW*, I saw a guy in a superhero outfit talk his way into a party and hand out treatments for the script that he had written. Talk about commitment (or thinking about it, maybe he dressed like that all the time).

Either way, films like the Blair Witch Project worked because everyone was told that they needed to see it before they found out how average it was (sorry guys). With bigger projects, the first thing that studio's do is attach talent and work projections based on factoids like: Jason Statham in a story with fast cars and shit blowing up yet miraculously he wins in the end (read: sequel) is worth X at the box office.

Small independent films are an act of love. Short films are an act of love as well. There is not much to do with a short film other than upload it to YouTube and submit it to festivals. Either way you need to promote it yourself. You will be lucky if it gets into the festival.

Success in this enterprise is evasive. It takes a combination of intelligence, stamina and fortune. Brian and Laurence Avenet-Bradley are two of the most talented film makers I have ever met. If you have the chance to see any of their films Freez'er, Ghost of the Needle, Dark Remains are the ones that I have seen are fantastic. Dark Remains is one of the scariest ghost stories that I have ever seen and a beautifully crafted film.

*SXSW = South By South West Film Festival

The Bloodshed

2009-02-03T14:34:00.001-08:00

So about two years ago, Alan Rowe Kelly calls me and says: I want to make a trilogy like Creepshow. It'll be me and two other horror directors. I said: Cool, have a great time. You should have them thematically connected in some vague way. He said: Great idea, what are you talking about? I said like the Brothers Grim fairy tales or 10001 Nights. Each story is independent yet lends to a greater theme. He said: Brilliant and hung up. He called back: How much can you put into the project? I said: %$^**. I hate it when I talk to Alan sometimes. His films are always a lot of fun make decent money and he's been a friend for years. I had said previously that if he can get his next projec going (I forget the title, but the budget was 300K) I would put up the first 10K and a letter offering DVD distribution. He said: Instead of that, give me the 10 grand for the short and we'll have a movie in six months. I thought and than said: WTF...? Sure, Alan's been a friend.

I was going to be on set as EP for the Blood Shed, but the shoot date got pushed by two weeks and I was going to Poland to shoot a documentary. I got back and called Alan. Alan said: Uhhhhhh...... we spent all the money, but didn't shoot a short. I said: What?!? You M....F.... I trusted you. What the F...in bleep C.....Sucker, dirt bag piece of S.... Alan interupted, sheepishly, which is the only time, I've heard him not over the top: We shot a feature instead.

I thought: OK, kinda different. I saw the initial cut a few months later. In a hotel room in New York with the guy that made up all the weird crazy violent sick stuff that went into the movie. A movie that can best be described as Pink Flamingo's meets the Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Or in my opinion the Citizen Kane of in-bred, hill billy, cannibal films. And yes, that's Alan playing Beeftina.

NYE 12/31/08

2009-01-03T08:26:00.000-08:00

Pretty wild one this year. 2008 I was invited to a party by the woman that I have been seeing for three weeks. She got drunk. Ignored me and ended up making out with some guy in the bathroom and than told me that he accosted her. I threw him on the ground. Half the party tackled me. She said that she didn't remember freak dancing with him for an hour. I felt like an asshole for not leaving sooner. Nice.

It's 8:30 AM January 2, 2009. Thank god 2008 is over. It was a grand year of transition and flux. Broke up with my long term girlfriend in February. She found someone new about two weeks later. I got in the best shape I have been in since High School weight 205 body fat 12%. Closed a company started a blog, two new projects. Blah Blah Blah....

This post is about recounting the last 8 NYE's. I got about eleven hours of sleep last night. But had been up for about 54 of the previous 60 hours.

2000 I had just broken up with the woman that I had been seeing for three years. I was just about to hit 30 and I was at a party in the hills of LA. My friends Chris and Nils introduced me to Captain Morgans rum and I gulped down about a bottle. Goes down like punch. Than I saw a woman that could have been Cameron Diaz body double. Beautiful. I don't remember much of the converstaion, but my friends were smiling and giving me the thumbs up when "Cameron" and I wnet outside. My moment of clarity kind of reminds me of The Shining when Nicholson realizes he's kissing a dead woman. I was making out with a retired Porn Star. There was a slight resemblance to Cameron Diaz if Ms. Diaz had been dead and buried for six months and someone brpought her emaciated corps to a party. Nice. My friends are bastards. You don't do that.

2001 I just moved to SF. I took one of those fat test things at the gym. 245 lbs. 35% body fat. I looked bad. But back in California, so happy. NYE with my cousin. Nothing interesting

2002 Brought friends Ty and Catherine to a party with their friends the 35 year old guy and his 19 year old fiancee with the boob job. The 19 year old and the guy did it in the hot tub. Technically right next to the hot tub. It was OK though the host took pictures. You can probably find them on the internet. At five to midnight the woman I was talking to said she needed to go find her husband. I thought: she really could have mentioned that half an hour ago. I wondered what my ex was from 3 years earlier was doing. Still infatuated. Like the NYE scene in Forrest Gump.

2003 Buddy Chris from NYE 2000 had just broken it off with his woman. We went skiing in Lake Tahoe. Decided to come back home for NYE. Went to a party. As soon as we walked in Elisa looked at Chris and asked: Who's that? "Ian's friend, he doesn't know anyone here." Elisa leaped the couch, tumbled past the finger foods, clothes lined one girl, grabbed the chandelir Indianna Jones style swung over to Chris and dragged him to the dance floor. Or something to slightly, and only slightly, less dramatic effect. Ty and I decided to leave.

Someone asked: aren't you going to say goodbye to your friend?

No.

Does he know your leaving?

No.

How's he going to get back to your house?

Idunno.

Aren't you worried about him?

No.

They got engaged on the plane up to SF from San Diego on NYE 2004.

2004 weight 230. body fat 24% looking better. I was inviteed to a party bus with about two dozen of my new friends. It was a blast. Several of them only remember what happened becuase of the pictures. The one girl grabbed me by the lapel and yelled: You're like me. We got core strength. Than she hit me in the belly and jumped on my buddies back and rode him around the car. I started taling to a friend of Chris and Elisa. I don't remember his name. His wife was standing with her back to us. She reached back to grab her husbands....private area. But instead grabbed and held mine. She actually seemed to realize that it wasn't her regular one after about 30 seconds. She "eeeked" and ran off. I commented that he was a lucky man. We laughed it off.

2005 I don't remeber. Right now. Actually, '03 and 04may have been '04 and '05. Anyway...

2006 I had ten people over for the pre NYE party dinner. Much drinking and hijinx ensue. At about 1230 my very beautiful and drunk date and another woman at the party dragged me into the bedroom and they started making out. I'm not usually into that, but that was hot. My date realized that she was kissing a woman and not me and left. She called a few minutes later: Hi, it's your friend the lesbian. I just got home. I'm going to pack and move away. It was a lovely party."

2007 My girlfriend that I had been seeing for about 10 months and I went to dinner. Drank a bottle of wine and passed out at 1130. Yippeee

2008 That really was not just the worst New Years I've ever had. But probably one of the most insulting nights I've ever had.

Ah well, forward is good. 2009 abounds with promise and hope. Barrak Obama is going to become President in about three weeks and I am hopeful that world will regain some sense of sanity. Or at least that my dating life will ...WTF, right?

Indie Roar

2008-05-15T09:15:00.000-07:00

It looks like I am actually going to build this festival. I wonder how it will play out. Right now, I need to figure out what I want to offer in the actual website. I think that I will have a main page with entrants getting there own page which will have a bunch of features on it including their film available to view. It's an interesting challenge to design something like this. I used to work with architects to design real estate. This is pretty different. I hope that I can figure out how to make my way of organizing work with the programmers.

The thing that I think is cool about this idea is that it helps resolve several of the main problems of Short Films. First, now that the short is complete, what can you do with it? Second and the main problem being no one ever gets to see them. With this site, artists will, hopefully, be able to have their film available at a high resolution for public consumption. I think also that this will be a good forum for new filmmakers to meet each other. Also, if they read my blog possibly learn from my bitter experience as I pontificate into the great void that is the INTERweb....

Or this is a complete waste of time and no one will care or enter. I think that I will offer $2500 to the first prize winners in three different categories; drama, horror and comedy. If I can, I will get some sponsors to offer me some additional prizes for 1st and 2nd prize winners as well. I really want B & H Photo to give me some gift certificates for the winners. If they don't, I'll probably just buy them and hand them out.

Jazz at Pearls

2008-04-28T12:58:00.000-07:00

I haven't done one of these posts for a while. There are a few things that I have wanted to write about; so there will be at least three or four in the next few days.

Something special happened this weekend. I came back from a trip to New York early to attend the last night of Jazz at Pearls. Jazz at Pearls is a San Francisco landmark that has the best ambiance / vibe of just about anywhere in the city. It's down the block from the Condor club, which I think is the first all nude strip club in the country. Around the corner is the Hungry I, which was a huge beatnik hangout long ago. Also near Vesuvio's (I think) and City Lights books where all the beat poets hung out in the '60's. Basically, it's a helluva neighborhood. The club itself is small and kind of dark. The stage area is pretty small. It accommodates a Piano, stand up base and drum set. The stage is next to the window. When sitting in the audience you can see into the AliBaba smoke shop across the street. Part of the fun is watching the pedestrians walk by, stop and enjoy the music for a minute before moving on. The music is usually great and sometimes special. I was pretty sad that this fantastic place was closing.

So, I got home from New York and home from the airport by about 6:30, walked/ran to the store in a mad dash, got back and cooked steaks and spinach with mushrooms (the boring kind) for me and my friend and made it to the club by 7:50. Six of my friends were there waiting for us. We got drinks and seated about a minute before Kim Nalley began. She began the night by telling us the Pearls as of yesterday was NOT closing and that she was exhausted. Apparently, some people that loved the place bought into it at the last minute to keep it open. Awesome! She managed to get a month worth of acts lined up in the previous 48 hours and kept all of the staff.

....and she sang her usual absolutely amazing show. She did some Ella Fitzgerald and a bunch of songs that I'd never heard before. This whacko at the end of our table kept singing along. When I asked her to be quiet she flipped me off. Nice. Later, someone else asked her to stop talking and she said, quite loudly, come to think of it: but, I was whispering! A few people around us asked her to be quiet at that point. I didn't care. My favorite Jazz club was staying open and that means hearing more great acts in a small venue with no reservations.

hmmm mmmm

2008-04-09T09:41:00.000-07:00

hmmm hmmm hmmm....

Nothing like a week or two of crazed partying on a beach in the middle of Mexico to get your head back on strait.

Shoreline

2008-03-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

The meeting with Shoreline went well. We discussed some possible deals for the future. Morris and I had a good conversation. It was clearly a "feeling out discussion." We talked about a few projects that Shoreline represents and a few projects that I represent. How Shoreline exploited them and what made Shoreline choose to work with those projects. They base their decisions on their inside sales peoples projections of what they think they can make off them in foreign markets. My company Heretic will send them Lurking in Suburbia to see if they want to distribute it internationally. Could be the start of a solid relationship.

An awkward moment in the conversation came when I asked him about a scumbag sales rep who we will call Dirtbag Steve. Dirtbag Steve repped a small project that went to Shoreline instead of Heretic. That's fine projects get to one distributor or another and getting mad over one lost opportunity will keep you from exploring the next opportunity. It will also make you old, fat, bald and really really frustrated. The problem with Dirtbag Steve is he told me that I could have that project if I invested in another of his projects. As far as I know, Dirtbag Steve never gave those filmmakers my offer. Life is too short for that kind of lack of ethics - I know that's naive, but seriously, the people that succeed in this business and life in general are true to their word. I asked Morris if he did much work with Dirtbag. Morris said "no." I said "Good. If you told me that you worked with him often. I would have walked out." I'm pretty sure that the look in his eye said: Wow, a strait talker. That must get him in a lot of trouble. What he actually said was "I guess I can be frank, I don't much like him much either."

I liked Morris. One of the rules I like is work with the right team. People that you can trust. People that you want to work with for a long damn time.

somedays

2008-03-24T14:12:00.000-07:00

To quote Woody Allen: Life, what a mother fucker. I am as depressed as I have ever been over a breakup (can't sleep, can't eat) and I have to go pitch a romantic comedy to possible funders in a few days. Yay. Wow, is that going to be a fun pitch. It's not just a pitch meeting. They want to talk to me about raising GAP financing and finishing funds for some of their movies. I guess we'll see if we can help each other out.

It's a fun comedy. I have been writing it on and off for about two years. It takes place in San Francisco over a few weeks in December. I think that if I can work it right there is solid potential for a Christmas type movie. My lawyer/producer Paul says that limits the marketability of the project. I'm not sure that I agree. When Hary Met Sally was released in July and that had it's finale at a New Years party. Not really a comparison, I know. WHMS had actual stars, a star director and huge budget. I will have none of those things and the industry has changed dramatically but, so what. Live the dream is the only reason to do this. Although, it is such a small budget that I may have to open the story to take place anytime of year.

There are three main couples: Will and Sue, Peltz and Mackenzie and Ryan and Caroline. Will and Sue are a couple of young twenty somethings trying to figure out if they should stay together or break up. Sue is thinking "break up" because she is "too young to be this settled." I have 80% of their story done. I still need to work out the final scene where they see each other for real and get together.

Peltz and Mackenzie are both artists. He makes puppets. She is a singer. He loves her. She thinks he's an asshole because he's rude to her when he's nervous. Hijinxs ensue. He falls for her. Doesn't say anything. She falls for him. Doesn't say anything. Peltz friends finally push them together.

....And Ryan. Ryan is based on every bad breakup, relationship, unrequited love that I have ever had. Ryan falls for Caroline. As soon as he's open to her she leaves him (I wrote this before my bitch ex-girlfriend ripped my heart out my ass).

The three stories interlace by connecting the characters through work and friendships. I plan to get a mid range name actor for Ryan. A known, up and coming TV character actor for Peltz (I don't know what he looks like now or even if he's young enough, but I think that the chubby red headed kid from the Sandlot is the type I'm looking for). For Will a just past his teen sensation years, TV guy . For Mackenzie, I want to get a singer that can belt out a blues song with deep sultry sex. Possibly a European singer with a following there and use that to help exploit the foreign markets. And an unknown actress for Sue. I will find a hot dusky hued supermodel for Caroline.

All this and I keep getting caught up in how quickly that woman replaced me. Five months ago, I was starting to write wedding vows. Seven weeks ago we broke it off. Four weeks ago she emailed to say that she is doing much better because she met someone new. WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE HAVE TO BE SO MEAN? I didn't need to know that she's with someone else. Seriously, it didn't work out. Why not just call it a day and go off in different directions to heal? This is what I'm thinking about while I'm trying to gear up for a pretty god damn important god damn meeting with goddamn Shore-goddamn-line.

the book

2008-03-16T11:36:00.000-07:00

I've been reading The Jew and the Lotus on my new Kindle. First the Kindle is an incredible device. I have something like thirty books, one magazine subscription and two daily newspaper subscriptions on that bad boy. It's lightweight, easy to use and a great conversation piece. If it was a woman, I'd marry her. Especially now that my ex was kind enough to tell me that she met someone new. Nice.

The book (which ex girlfriend (it didn't work out (but she was awesome (mostly)) gave me) [cool use of parens, no?] is pretty good. A bunch of Jews, from a half dozen different denominations, travel to India to meet the Dalai Lama and engage in dialogue about survival in Diaspora. The Lama* wants to learn from the Jews how they survived without a homeland. Most of the Jews didn't really think about the fact they had something to learn as well. In their defense, many of the Jews realize that they have all kinds of new philosophies and concepts to explore. I'm only about a third of the way through, but so far it's amazing.

I am looking forward to the summations at the end of this journey. It could go in a few directions. I suspect that the Llama will get some benefit from the experience of the Jewish people in finding their path to the future. I'm more curious about how the Buddhists will affect (effect?**) the Jewish leaders.

*When I was a kid, I didn't understand the difference between a Lama and a Llama. I could not figure out why people would travel to Tibet to climb mountains and talk to a big goat thing. Than I saw Dr. Doolittle with Rex Harrison. The movie had a PushMePullYou a two headed, no pooper, Llama that people sang songs about and I was really confused. I think that I finally figured it out when I was about 20. It's not that I'm stupid, I just never thought about it.

**I really have to look that up.

SXSW the hotel experience

2008-03-08T15:13:00.000-08:00

I got to Austin late and checked into the hotel around 10:00 PM. The first room
was a smoking room and smelled like the 405 freeway at rush hour. My clothes smelled from standing in the doorway for a minute. The second room was better. The room smelled like a hotel room, but the bathroom....oh the bathroom. The bathroom had the distinctive scent of puke. I knew it well. That ever present Saturday morning smell from my freshman dorm at college. I decided to stay and scrubbed the sink down with mouthwash (Listerine is like liquid duct tape). After that, the room was fine.
My hotel experience reminded me of a bunch of other places that I don't like to visit. I backpacked through Indonesia in '96. I like the countryside much more than most of the cities. Outside Yogyakarta, I had a dinner which was called Chicken, but may have been raw, yet steaming, human flesh. There are a bunch of others, but, I refrain for now.

Today, I hit a few different panels. Getting Unstuck: Desktop to Device was totally over my head and I left pretty fast. Ran into a friend from home, who as it turns out, is a wicked blog queen, here to speak on a panel. The real gift of today was the Art of Speed panel. It was manned by; Tim Ferriss of Four Hour Work Week fame, Mike Cassidy of Benchmark Capital, Evan Williams of Twitter and Obvious and Cali Lewis host of Geekbrief. They were amazing. Inspired. It's cool to see people that love what they do and maintain there balance. One of the things they talked about was passion. Another was personal life and keeping it balanced.

It really was inspiring. I spent the half hour after the panel figuring out how to make an online festival happen. I think that will be my next project.

First one

2008-03-05T21:03:00.000-08:00

OK, here I go. It's two days before the South By Southwest film festival and I am really far behind in my research for the festival. I have been meaning to start writing a blog for a while now. Crazy day. I spent the morning, doing errands (pick up dry cleaning, wash car, staff meeting). Than I bought my new computer and have done battle with my ignorance of all things electronic and tried to upload all my old files.

I had wanted to research the From Here to Awesome online festival which Heretic Films is co sponsoring with about a dozen other companies. I am thinking about doing an online short film festival for fun in a few months and I would love to talk to Lance Weiler (I think that's his name) about creating a festival, since I am going to see him at SXSW. Earlier today, I had a discussion with a foreign distributor to negotiate foreign sales for The Bloodshed and 24 Hours on Craigslist. And, I spoke with a potential investor in one of the scripts that I am writing. All in all, pretty busy day. OK, enough rambling for now...